counting blessings

goodbyes that extended into

years that

had become a vicious

cycle of remebrance

and vehement nods, yours was

described as a mind with gaping

black spots, with some

shadows of anecdotes, mostly

a blotched canvas of

confusions

you were dapper, with

wit and a sarcasm to your tongue

then also articulate, now your eyes brightened

rare in moments, that drew us closer

to our own knots and balls

of gloom, fearful of

the midnight zone

you embraced, life for her

became an exploration of disguises, attempted only

in hope of finding the key

to your connections and

piecing the puzzle you had

become

walking your silence,with you

was her

a rock, telling you some truths

and many lies, so you could offer

your charm, and your now rare

fond waning smile

evaporating into a blend

of medicinal pallor and herbal oils

those became the only

interaction with the fabric of your being

threadbare emotions

in pleading eyes, guilt

often shadowing over the pain of

caregiving, edged and frayed

vacant enough to repeat each day, a

new reason for a goodbye

memories

movies

jokes

tastebuds

years

little by little

you moved into the shifting

sands of your own brain, until

there was no breaking through to

the outside, and you stayed

at the edge, with her by your

side, counting her blessings

 

NaPoWriMo 2018

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